Suicides Love Story (one shot)

gonças nao deve ter ficado como querias...queria mto fica fria e deixar a parte lamexas, mas nao consigo

m(_ _)m sorry!!!

achas que eu dou-me bem com a categoria angst? lool eu acho que me vou a candidatar-me para a proxima angst queen hohoho!!

Title: Suicides Love Story
Beta: szani
Rating: PG
Pairing: Aiba/Sho & Jun/Sho
Genre:  Angst, AU
Summary: But he was wrong and the person who made him realize that was Aiba. Sho didn’t need someone to protect him. Sho didn’t need someone to supervise him from distance. Sho need someone beside him. Someone to show him the world he was looking for.
A/N: yes, another angst xD hohohoho (yes the title is from nana kitade song~~ ohohoho)

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Blood. Blood was the only thing Jun could see. Blood coming out of all holes and cuts from the body of his two comrades. Blood, something that makes people alert and afraid, was slowly sipping from the body to the ground, joining the red liquid that was already on the floor, surrounding its owners. Blood was running out of an old body, as if trying to escape and find a new place to live in. What it didn’t know was that its destiny was over the moment it mixed with the dust and other substances that were on the floor.

Jun entered the abandoned storehouse, after he had heard screams, gunshots and mad laughs. He was one of the elite that existed in the mafia, prepared for any situation and aware how to act even in the worst scenarios. But what he saw wasn’t what he has expected, wasn’t what he has imagined. In the center of the room, between boxes, on the ground, he saw two bodies and a man laughing like mad, looking up at the storehouse’s ceiling. He wasn’t shocked to see two bodies on the ground, because it was almost a common scenario during wars and fights within the Mafia. He was stunned because he knew who the killer was. He knew him. Who living in the underworld didn’t know Dr. Sakurai Sho? Ironically, the killer was a doctor of the mafia world and ‘Heal those who need to be healed, even if he’s a drug dealer or an yakuza member that has killed tens or hundreds of people’ was his life philosophy. Actually Jun admired and respected him for that. After all, since childhood, Sho has always had this pure and kind feature.

"... AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" The killer hasn’t noticed Jun yet. Suddenly, his legs lost their strength and his body fell sitting on the floor, dropping the gun and knife in the process. He continued looking up at the empty space as if he was communicating with it. Sho was laughing as if he had gone mad. He looked at his hands covered in blood and gradually his laughs turned into tears and finally he muttered, "Masaki ... finally ... finally I did what I promised you ...."

"Sho?" Jun asked doubtfully. He had never seen the doctor so shaken and hence didn’t how to deal with the situation. He approached him slowly so he could hear clearly what Sho was saying.

"... It's time to go, right? To go where you are…" Sho took the gun from the floor and pressed it to his head and looking up at sky, "Wait a little longer for me, Masaki. I'm on my way ..."

Sho closed his eyes. He was prepared to meet his lover, his light. He felt someone behind him, embracing him with his right arm, one hand placed on the gun he was holding.

"Don’t leave ... please ..." Jun whispered into Sho’s ears. His voice was weak and frail. It was obvious that Jun was trying to control his tears, prevent them from coming out. He wasn’t asking, he was begging. He knew what he was doing was paradoxical, because he should point his gun at Sho and kill him to avenge his comrades and therefore have a good news to give to his boss. But no, this time, as all the others times that have something to do with Sho, Jun was being controlled by his own heart and acting as a man blinded by love.

"Jun ?..." Sho didn’t expect the yakuza’s presence there. Although, Sho had considered the fact at first, he decided to try to avoid it and pray it wouldn’t happen. After all it was only a probability. He was prepared to face everyone except Matsumoto. Sho couldn’t face his childhood friend. Not when he was lost and his philosophy of saving lives was being ignored. Philosophy that his friend admired. It was sarcastic to know a doctor who killed two people without mercy. "What are you doing? Shouldn’t you kill me? "

"You are much more important than all of them together. In fact, you have always been the most important person to me ... so ... don’t leave ..."

Sho smiled unconsciously. He remembered these kind of statements Jun always said when they were still very young. Jun had admired Sho ever since childhood, perhaps because of his intelligence or because the way Sho saw the world.

During his rebellious years, Jun was very aggressive and always thought nobody understands him. He didn’t believe Sho too. Then, one night, he was saved by his boss and found his own place in the Mafia. Although Sho didn’t agree with those methods, Jun ran away from his house, left school and decided to dedicate his life to his boss. He aimed to receive the highest position inside the mafia world. For Sho he was always like a little brother. Sakurai was very afraid that Jun might get himself in trouble, so he decided he should, little by little, enter the underworld to take care of his dear friend.

Sho realized that not everything in Mafia was as bad as the society described it in the news and books. Members were also human and many of them joined the gang because they didn’t have other options.

He decided he would become their doctor after his graduation. He slowly got used to underworld. So much that he started to think is was nicer than the "real" one, full of lies and hypocrisy. Not that the underworld didn’t have criminals. People from there at least said what they have to say and didn’t mask their true selves. And among many people who he had found and treated he had met Aiba. Aiba Masaki was a young veterinarian. He loved animals and above all, had a radiant smile. Sho learned from him how to smile, how to live his life without planning it, live it as if every second was the last one. It was something that Sho didn’t use to do, because ever since childhood days, he liked planning things ahead. After Jun joined the mafia, he lived his life thinking of him, wondering what should he do if he found out Jun was targeted or where should he hide Jun if the cops came out. Aiba taught him how to stop thinking about Jun every second, give him both more space and let the younger do what he wants, believing in him.

"... Aiba would be happy to know that you are talking to me now if he ... he was here ... and that is entirely my fault ..." Sho’s tears were falling again. Even though Aiba hasn’t been there for months, Sho couldn’t believe it was real. He continued praying and wishing that everything was just a nightmare and that when he woke up, Aiba would be at his side, sleeping peacefully.

"It’s not your fa --"

"HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT IT ISN’T MY FAULT? HOW? IF ... if I hadn’t been so worried about you, Masaki wouldn’t have gone to try to get information about you ... if I had listened to him and left you for a while, he wouldn’t have gone there ... but I--"

"Nobody is guilty ... Aiba-san heard what he shouldn’t have heard... I am sure they didn’t want that to happen too." Jun looked at the two bodies. He wasn’t looking at them with pity or anger. After all, Aiba was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time and those two didn’t have other choice but to accept orders from above – kill the one who knew their secrets.

"They didn’t want to do it? What kind of joke is this? Aiba wouldn’t ever do anything ... He was the most innocent person I know! He would never use this knowledge for his own benefit ... So don’t tell me NO ONE IS GUILTY! "

Sho was restless. Jun's words had reverse effect on him. He made Sho angrier and uncontrolled. Sho pushed Jun away, standing up, and pointed the gun at him.

“Now I think about it…the guiltiest person should be YOU!!! IF NOT FOR YOU, NOTHING WOULD HAVE HAPPENED! IF NOT FOR YOU, AIBA WOULD BE ALIVE! IF NOT FOR YOU... YOU ... JUNNNNNNNNN "

Although Jun understood Sho and knew it was all because of him, he couldn’t ignore the pain Sho’s words were causing. Step by step, he approached Sho till he felt the gun pressing to his chest. He knew what might happen, but he also knew he wouldn’t regret it.

Jun was a person who hated losing, but didn’t mind losing everything if the person who to take it all was Sho. Sakurai was one of the main reasons for which he joined yakuza. He always admired Sho and always knew that even though Sho seemed to be the most wonderful person in the world, it wasn‘t true. Sho was a fragile and very pure man, so he decided to taint himself in order to protect Sho- turning himself into a dangerous person (from the society’s eyes) and had his name written on the enemies blacklist. When that day came, he thought it was best to move away from Sho and protect him from the shadows. He knew he could be hated by Sho for choosing this path, but if he had power in mafia he could protect Sho even better and it was all that mattered. At least he knew no one would dare to touch Sho if they heard who was watching him.

But he was wrong and the person who made him realizes that was Aiba. Sho didn’t need someone to protect him. Sho didn’t need someone to supervise him from distance. Sho need someone beside him. Someone to show him the world he was looking for. And that someone was Aiba Masaki. Aiba was the very first one to made Sho laugh genuinely again, after Jun’s rebellious stage. It was Masaki who stayed beside the doctor when he was having breakdowns.

Ironically, Jun hated and liked Aiba. He hated him for stealing the Sho that he had monopolized, yet he was very grateful Aiba managed to erase his existence from Sho’s life.

"Shoot me! If that's what you want, I am more than ready and happy to die from your hands ... " Jun said while looking at Sho.

But Sho was unable to do it. He couldn’t kill Jun. It was too much to ask. Sho fell to the ground again.

"This is so unfair... Why are you doing this to me, Jun? You know I can’t kill you yet you don’t allow me to die… Let me go! I want to meet Masaki so badly...“ Sho muttered weakly, as if he was almost at his limits, ready to give everything up.

Jun was smiling. These reactions were very similar to those of the desperate, pure and fragile Sho he knew since he was small. Because of them, he always felt this tightness in his heart. Because of them he decided to build his life like the one he was living now. Because of them that he felt the need to protect him. But it seemed to be so ironic now, right? He pushed Sho into a corner with no exits, no solutions, without protection.

However, he couldn’t help but make Sho suffer, he actually liked it. Liked making Sho become so desperate to only have eyes only for him. Making Sho think only about him. Making him felt weak, so fragile that he could only run into his arms. But somehow his other half couldn’t stand watching the doctor like this. It was as if someone has removed the air, preventing him from breathing. It was as if someone stopped his heartbeat, not allowing fresh blood to flow. It was as if someone has removed his soul, separating it from the body, the only connection that allowed him to talk, touch, and embrace Sho.

Jun slowly kneeled in front of Sho, locking him in his arms and said, "If you don’t want your life, give it to me. If you don’t have a reason to keep living, let me become one. I’m not asking you to forget about him, neither I will ever be able to replace him ... just let me continue what Aiba started...." Sho looked at him. He looked into Jun’s eyes as if he was searching for the light that he had lost. But it was difficult for him to imagine his life without Aiba, without his presence, without his bright smile.

‘Too late…You’re late…’, That was what Sho wanted to say, but he couldn’t. His madness wouldn’t let him go back. All his memories were telling him to go and meet Aiba. All his cells were screaming and begging for death. But when everything seemed to be becoming darker and darker, a light came into his mind. He heard these three magic words that he has never expected to hear from Jun’s mouth. Maybe he didn’t consider Jun as his younger brother. Maybe he was in the mafia world for another reason. Maybe ever since they met, his heart was already his’. Sho slowly closed his eyes, pressing his face to Jun’s chest and hugged him.

"Then get me out of this insanity..."

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A/N 2: please comment ne~~