The destiny

 done it again xD outra vez : os nomes nao tem nada a ver com o que está e nao está aqui, se nao gostam deles ou faz confusão, muda.os para uns que gostam....

Title: The destiny
Beta: szani (truly arigatou! again!)
Rating: PG (maybe...)
Genre: Romance, Angst
Summary: The current destiny I’m looking at right now isn’t the same destiny I looked at in the past.
A/N: this time is sakuraiba~~ szani was one of the reason why it's sakuraiba xD xD YEY!!

***

'Sho-chan is looking outside the window again. He does that every time he visits me but I know very well that he is thinking about THAT person again and not enjoying the scenery (as he is trying to make others believe.)

Watching him like this makes me wonder if I’ve made the right choice. Watching Sho makes me wonder why I can never occupy the same position as HIM. I mean, this is so unfair! Why HE, who had only met Sho a few months ago, can take the special place in Sho-chan’s heart. Place that I can never have? Me, Aiba Masaki who is Sho-chan’s childhood friend...


Sakurai and Aiba families have always been united. No matter which gender you are, no matter what is the both sides‘ will, Sakurai and Aiba must have an alliance in every generation, and for our generation we were the chosen ones. Years passing by, I felt our love getting stronger and stronger. We were made to believe that we have to love each other and that it is our destiny. During those times you told the magic words - "When I grow up and come back, I want to marry Masaki!". Those words were my relief. They made me happy and strong. They were my energy which kept me believing.


Even though both families are rich, Sakurai always had more freedom. The family’s hier lives in the mansion until he becomes ten. After that, he has to stay in a poor family’s house. That situation lasts for ten years (20th birthday). They believe a child can only grow up if it meets the cruel world and keep surviving in poor conditions without a single help from the Sakurai family. But being an Aiba, I couldn’t follow him. I couldn’t go to schools he attended, couldn’t share the bento with him (because of lack of money) and couldn’t be the first one to see his expression when he was discovering new things. As an Aiba, I needed to learn how the mansions works, what I have to do to keep it in control. As an Aiba, I need to become a “wife” ready for the chosen Sakurai’s return.

Although we were apart, we kept calling and writing letters to each other. Because it was a rule that Sakurai and Aiba families made and because we both wanted to. But days went by and you started talking about odd things, using expressions that I have never heard before and referring to people I have never ever met. I was no longer your centre of attention. As the time flew, your calls and letters were less and less frequent and even though I keep lying to myself, the truth is you’re so close yet so far from me. I no longer understand you and I can’t keep up with your ideas and talks.

Sho-chan has grown up and wasn’t the Sho-chan I knew. Even though you kept coming back to the mansion, even though you kept visiting and talking to me like during the old days, Sho-chan wasn’t the Sho-chan I knew. Sho-chan learned many things, that made Sakurai family proud, made many friends in different fields, friends that have an ability to help if the Sakurai Company is ever in trouble (which I think is quite impossible with Sho-chan as the president). And Sho-chan met HIM. Sho said he would come back to me, to the family, to the world he belongs in. But it seems you cannot keep your promise anymore, ne?


No matter how much I want you, your heart doesn’t belong to me anymore. Everything we thought about, like being made for each other and not being able to survive without the other, is no longer our reality. The reality we were told to believe in.


No matter how much I want your body, it doesn’t belong to me anymore. Everything I wanted to avoid happened. Your kisses don’t have the same affection they used to have. Your hugs aren’t as warm as I want them to be. You don’t moan for me anymore. You don’t call my name any longer.


No matter how much I want your soul, it doesn’t belong to me anymore. Everything was erased so easily. Our destiny was broken so easily. Our connection isn’t the same as before.

When you found out that I collapsed, have you suffered as much as you suffered when we forbid you to meet HIM? Have you also been looking outside the window and thinking about me when I was in the hospital? Have I ever been present in your thoughts all the time? Like HE is…


...


...


...


The current destiny I’m looking at right now isn’t the same destiny I looked at in the past and isn’t the same one you created to fool yourself, me and everyone.

The call is done. I don’t have any regrets anymore. And I promised myself I won’t ever look back because I know it’s now or never.’



***



Aiba got up from the couch and approached Sho.


"No matter how much I want it, you aren’t the Sho-chan…the Sho-chan who liked Masaki anymore ... You do--n’t need to think this is your destiny any longer.... I know ... I know that as long as you stay yourself, you will be able to break everything. So break it and be happy. Just this time…let me be the one to sacrifice myself and let you go ... " said drunk Aiba. He was in tears.


"What are you talking about ,Aiba? Are you drunk again? Haven’t we decided that I will be- - " said Sho while shaking Aiba’s shoulders to make him more conscious.


"STOP! STOP LYING! We both know that what existed and exists now are two different things. Even if we were together, we wouldn’t be happy. If two people cannot be happy together… why not to allow at least one of us to be happy? "


The legs of the drunk Aiba gave up and his whole body sat at the cold floor. And Sho, who was watching the whole fragile moment in silence, tried to hug Aiba, give him comfort, but he was pushed away. Aiba didn’t let him do it.


"HE is waiting outside... Go and be happy! And don’t worry about our families. I can take care of it. You have already sacrificed too much. And I promised myself that this time it will be me to let you go. "


"But-"


"GET OUT! Get out before I regret it!!"


The drunk Aiba who was only half-conscious couldn’t hear and see well, but he still heard Sho‘s steps. The sound produced by his shoes was incredibly clear. Sound he was sure he would remember forever. The one marking the end of his and Sho’s story, the end of love he has always believed in. But he was shocked and surprised when he felt a warm weight behind his back and pair of arms surrounding and embracing him. And with his last strength, he managed to record what Sho said.


"Even if we are apart, you will always be my Masaki and I am your Sho-chan. Nothing will change and everything will change. Thank you for understanding. Thank you for letting me go. Thank you. "

A/N: bad? horrible? and a quiz: who is HE? xD xD